Patrons locked inside a bar are forced to fight monsters.
In a remote bar, a newcomer advises the customers to seal the place up, as hungry monsters will soon attack them. The customers must quickly organize a strategy to defend themselves from the deadly creatures.
I get tired when people call a mediocre film "the worst movie I've ever seen" and I've tried to avoid wild statements like that. Surprisingly, Feast may honestly deserve that title. Never have I seen such an utterly dull and joyless horror film and I've watched Komodo Dragon on the Sci Fi channel.
Part of what amazes me about this film is how it fails to entertain on even a basic level. It's not hard for a horror film to be fun. Even the worst tend to be relatively watchable largely because most of us have a deep desire to be scared in one sense or another and the quick past and bad acting usually insure than most horror moves are brisk and funny.
What's amazing about Feast is that it fails on even the most fundamental levels of a horror movie. You have a cast of characters that are supposedly meant to parody horror film clichés (which we know because the writers were subtle enough to give them names like "hero" and "vet" along with title cards that briefly tell us a bit about them), however, the writing is so insanely bad that none of these characters manage to be funny. A good writer can try to write badly and end up with something hilarious. Here, two bad writers try the same thing and end up with some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard. Perhaps I made a mistake by not watching the film after partaking of heavy drugs or lead pipe to the head but there's simply nothing remotely funny about this film. What's worse, there's absolutely no reason to be invested with far too many characters to character about even if they hadn't been the most unlikeable, disgusting characters ever written (which, surprise, they are).
But the script isn't the only issue of course. The actors manage to do the awful dialogue justice and, once again, are not bad-funny but just plain awful. The cinematography is ugly. The soundtrack is tedious and incredibly sparse. The directing is un-inspired and not the least bit frightening. Worst of all, the pace is absolutely deadly, taking WAY too long for things to get started and never really managing to gain momentum like even a decent horror film can.
Like the most who have seen the film, I grew interested in Feast after watching the last season of Project Greenlight. Even with my love of that show and desire to see the summation of the 3rd season, Feast isn't worth watching. Nothing in the world could make this film entertaining. Go watch From Dusk Till Dawn or one of the Evil Dead films instead. Hell, watch Slumber Party Massacre or any awful horror movie instead. This isn't worth the five minutes it takes you to realize it's the worst movie ever. Feast, the last of three Project Greenlight series which provided a movie-making opportunity for wannabe film directors and writers, suffers from the same shaky cinematography and plot holes that plagued the first two projects. Yet this dark horror comedy brings enough clever dialog and over-the-top action to redeem it as a Halloween rental. A barful of losers band together to fight off attacks from a family of biped monsters, hungry for human flesh. The idea behind the film is that more is better--more characters, more confusion, more gross-out moments, and more action. More is not always better which is why this film has sat on a shelf for going on two years. But if you ignore the films' weaknesses and focus on the action, it's fun. A sad farewell to the promising Project Greenlight concept, this Feast leaves viewers with nothing satisfying to tuck into. The Unrated version of this horror flick is only a couple of seconds longer, in total about five seconds and features a bit more violence but basically, it's not worth mentioning. Nevertheless there's a detailed comparison between both versions with pictures availableover here. a5c7b9f00b
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